Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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