I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize