Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize