i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
