I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You're like the curious george of whores
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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