There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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