too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
