do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
