he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
