in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Randomize
