pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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