i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize