speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
two words...techno handjob
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
try to milk me bitch
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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