I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize