Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
