i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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