i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
