$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
