I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
