i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
