we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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