That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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