My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize
