How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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