He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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