fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
