would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
