Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
