I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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