I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
