I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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