Even the bartender felt bad for me
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
