He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
