my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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