That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
