nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
