They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
