genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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