But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
