Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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