So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
