yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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