this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
