Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
