i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
someone owes me an orgasm
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
whose parrot is this?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
