Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
