All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Four minutes until I can fart!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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