you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
