nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
