Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
