dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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