Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
