Me too!
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
My cat gives me a boner
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
