who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
