so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
