I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
