I like my sex mixed with concussions.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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