i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Randomize