he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
