put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
try to milk me bitch
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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