I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
