Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
