I think scott just propositioned me for sex
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
