I like to think it a success when the cops are called
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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